Monday, March 7, 2011

Bright Eyes

Oh, our second born!  He's the child that God gives you to help you learn the most about yourself and your parenting skills.  He's also the child that, when not testing your parenting skills, melts you in seconds flat with just one look into his baby blue eyes.  God made children beautiful, so that even in the worst hours it's impossible not to love them! 

Bright Eyes (B.E.)  is a dreamer, a creator, and a free spirit.  I joke with his current little girlfriend's mommy that she better hope her daughter has a good job.  B.E. will most likely be living out in California as a starving artist...either as a musician or an artist.   These are his passions.  At only 4 years of age, I'm truly thrilled that he's found things that he loves to do.

The free spirit in him is what is the most trying.  This morning we had nearly a 20 minute stand-off concerning whether he was going to get himself dressed or not.  Of course, his shirt wouldn't come off without help, and heaven forbid he could possibly take off his own pants.  The left sock doesn't go on the right foot...duh, mommy!  And why are there so many bumps in my shoes?  While all this was happening, he was sobbing uncontrollably as though it was the most traumatic moment of his life.  While I would love to tell you that my angel, B.E., rarely acts this why, I can not.  I would be lying through my teeth.  This is at least an every other day occurrence.  It's not always getting dressed that causes the explosions.  It's a variety of everything.  He's too cold, his folder isn't in his backpack, he didn't want his apple cut "this way," etc. 

The learning involved here has been to understand how to deal with it.  With Zep, it was easy.  Take away the things he loves and he acts instantly.  It is not that way with B.E.  You could put him in a completely empty room, and he would still find something to occupy his time happily.  So, threatening to take things away doesn't work and raising your voice just causes the meltdown to escalate.  The way to deal with this child is what takes the most patience.  In the middle of the tantrum, when you yourself would prefer to sit down and cry and scream as well, you have to just love him.  He responds to gentle talking, not to yelling.  Sometimes it takes 10 or so minutes for your actions to take effect, but ultimately it does work.  The most important thing for him to see is how his actions are affecting you.  We have found that our "little pistol" is also such a compassionate little boy.  Knowing this has made being his mommy much easier...still not easy, but much easier.

A story for you...pretty much completely unrelated to this, but an example of why B.E. will turn me gray much sooner then rest of my children...

Bright Eyes had a friend over to play for the afternoon.  It was time to head out the door to pick up the older brothers.  B.E. ran to the garage, and I stayed right inside the door to wait for his friend to finish up in the bathroom.  B.E. asked for me to open the garage door for him, and so I pushed the button and briefly turned my head to once again check on his friend.  When I looked back, my knees went weak.  Dangling, from my now moving garage door, was my then 3-year-old son.  Up, up, up he went...screaming and flailing his legs the entire time.  With Sunshine on my hip, I went running, and only reached him after the garage had already stopped at the top.  He was fine, thank God!  Between him crying and my hysterics, the whole scene was ridiculously comical.  I really shouldn't have expected anything less from him...two seconds after his crying stopped, he began laughing, "That was fun!" 

1 comment:

Jenny said...

Oh my goodness, I have a fear of my boys doing that! I'm visiting from Catholic Mothers Online. PLease follow me back to my blog.