Thursday, January 19, 2012

Finding a new me...

The most amazing thing happened about a month ago, and amazingly it is still happening.  I learned how to overcome one of my most despised character traits...laziness.  I really wish I could tell you exactly how it happened, but I can't.  I have a sneaking suspicion though.  See, about a month ago I also made it a MUST to begin getting up 45 minutes before the kids to spend some quiet time reading devotional books and saying my morning prayers.  Call it a coincidence, but I surely don't think it was.

Can I just brag that I've not once, over the last month, missed my wake up time?  For those of you who know me this is HUGE!  I love my sleep.  But it hasn't even slightly occurred to me each morning as the alarm is going off to hit the snooze and enter back into dreamland.  I've been completely awed by this new me.  I know my dear hubby has been as well.  

With the early wake ups has also come this crazy motivation to keep the house clean.  The laundry, the bathrooms, picking up,'s all being done.  It's like I've been replaced by robo-mom.

But before I brag too much, about midweek last week, it all started building up on me.  I was burnt out, and in my burnout I started to feel bad for myself.  How was I going to keep up this pace?  Heck, the fourth baby isn't even here yet.  How am I going to do it in a few months when he/she is here?  I had built up the argument for know the one -please, please love me enough to get me a maid.  Unfortunately, hubby didn't bite.  

So, the next day I got up and did it all again.  And the next day, again.  It just continued.  Burnout or not, I had to keep going.  It was during this time that it really hit me.  I signed up for this job.  We don't have four children by accident.  God and I have this agreement that if he sees fit for me to mother more children, than by all means let Him bring it on!  But did I honestly think that I was going to have the same amount of downtime with four children as I did with one or even two?  Obviously I've been crazy enough to believe just that.  

The moment I started to really understand and appreciate the job I had been given and prayed for was the moment that the burnout went away.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely exhausted most every night.  The stray dish that hubby throws in the sink after I finished cleaning them all hours ago still drives me up a wall.  But I'm no longer begging for a maid, because I know I can do this.  I'm certain that I can do this, because God only gives us what we can handle.  I trust that even in the times I feel like I can't go on that I have the Lord to lean on.  

Here we mothers sit in this never ending, thankless job we've been given.  I don't know about you, but it's the greatest gift I've ever opened.  Thanks be to God!


holly said...

beautiful, and well said!

BB said...

VERY impressive. That takes so many skills and talents beyond oneself. Has to be a divine show you He's still with you ever step.
Can't wait to hear your posts after #4. I'm betting on them being just as positive, focused and in gear as this one.
I will pray for you, and your family, as you take these next steps.
Did you see "Fried Green Tomatoes"? If so, let's shout it together...."TAWANDA!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The Corams said...

Great job lady! Impressed with how you are letting God shine through it all. Remember whatever you are dealt can easily be more than you can handle, but never more than He can take if us stubborn ladies just turn it all over to him. :) Been thinking a lot about you and am praying the pregnancy is going great! We may be delivering about the same time.

Donna said...

That is awesome- I'm so happy for you. I have had very similar revelations lately and it's been made very clear to me that this job is hard and it is mine and I can't keep looking for easy ways out. And it's kind of wonderful to be exhausted at night if you spent the day truly in your vocation. I'm inspired by you D- I might just have to conquer this sleep thing myself.