Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Evaluating ME!

I had the opportunity to attend an amazing hardcore Catholic boot-camp this past weekend, otherwise known as Cursillo!  This movement has done wonders for me and my faith.  You would think that after attending the weekend as a candidate and now after serving three weekends as a team member, it would all be old information for me.  But nope...I'm still learning!  He's truly not finished with me yet!

Being there, in the presence of some of the most holy women and man I know, really caused me to sit back and take a hard look at myself.  I get all the basics of the tripod...piety, study, action.  I've always known where I struggle in those areas.  No new news there, but definitely a reminder to try harder.

Would you be surprised that what ran through my thoughts the most was the world of technology?  I kept returning to it so often that it soon became clear that God was trying to get me to open my eyes.

I found myself remembering a piece of advice someone long ago told me.  They place a sign on their television with the question, "Would you watch this show if Jesus was sitting next to you?"  I'll admit that my husband has constantly pointed out my lack of morals when it comes to picking out my TV viewing.  It drives me crazy.  Probably because in the back of my head I know it's the truth.

So, yesterday I ran through my scheduled DVR program list and deleted a lot of shows.  Such a bittersweet moment!  I know I'm doing the right thing, but goodness it hurt to see that two hours of Grey's Anatomy leave the list of shows needing to be watched.  All forms of the Bachelor also disappeared; the Pad and -Ette!  It was like saying goodbye to a friend that you know only causes you trouble.  How ridiculous do I sound really?  I wish I wasn't serious!

Along with my TV addiction, comes my addiction to Facebook.  I don't spend hours at a time on it, but the five minutes here and there definitely add up to A LOT of wasted time.  Here's the dilemma, I use Facebook for so many necessary things...coupons, homeschooling information, etc.  So, I've spent the last two days unsubscribing from just about everyone's news feed that has no relevance to me.  I'm hoping this will be a balanced solution.

Photo credited to eeekays photography
What hit me the hardest...was a tremendous failure.  A friend, actually she's more like a family member, has been going through some tough stuff in her life lately.  I was there at first and then suddenly I wasn't.  I literally just disappeared when the going got tough for her.  Imagining what she must think of my abandonment is crippling.  There are no excuses to offer; I simply stunk at being a friend for her when she needed me most.  The only step to take now is to apologize and pray that she can one day accept it.

It's hard to look in the mirror; really, really look.  You have to look to see the cracks though.  Without seeing them how can you even begin to start making repairs.  I'm so thankful for the Cursillo weekend for giving me the opportunity to fix what I was trying so hard not to see.


"Max Whale" said...

Have you read the book "Building Better Families" by matthew Kelly? It was suggested at the Catholic men's conference... the main focus is about the things in our life--do they make us become the BEST VERSION OF OURSELVES?? It is fab if you haven't read it. We are doing it for the MOMS group at POP starting Friday. You can borrow mine if you want when we are done if you don't already have it! Good for you for getting rid of the DVR shows--I struggle with it, too!;-)

Supernatural Gracie said...

I'm so proud on you for dumping all the shows!!! I know it was hard but you did it!! THANKS for sharing such a wonderful weekend with me! Love you!!!

BlessedMom said...

I'm dying over your blogger name! Oh my goodness! You're hysterical!

Having you there made the weekend for you. I'm so excited to share this part of my life with you! Love you too, dear!

holly said...

Girl, so proud of your honesty...not easy! Can't wait to hear more about the weekend!

Lori said...

God is good!! We are constantly dying to self and being born again in Him!! What a beautiful grace you have received. The world wants us to hold onto all of the unGodly things it throws at us!!! The less of those things we have in our day the more room we have for Him, where we find true peace and contentment!! Love, Lori