What a beautiful Sunday!!!

I have been given the honor of sponsoring one of my closet friends, K, through her entrance into the Catholic faith.  The RCIA classes began back in August, and the whole experience has been wonderful.  These are the things that us cradle-Catholics usually don't ever get the chance to be a part of.  The classes themselves have been great.  K's hubby and my hubby tag along almost every week.  This has opened the door to dialogue we normally wouldn't have had.  It's also deepened our friendship.  We are so blessed to have this couple in our lives.  K's hubby is, what she refers to as, a "king size bed" Catholic...and well, I have one of those husbands as well.  The two of them are like peas in a pod.  You can guarantee that no conversation will leave the area of theology for more than 5 minutes maximum. 

This past Sunday was the Rite of Election.  K and I first had to go through the ceremony at our own parish, and then we went to the Cathedral to have the big ceremony with Bishop Baker.  Talk about taking your breath away.  The Cathedral was packed full of people who were preparing to enter the Church.  This was just one of three services being held over the weekend.  It was truly moving to see all of these people, who for months have been attending classes to enter the Church that I have come to love with every ounce of my being.  I'm beyond thrilled for all of them.  I can't wait for them to finally have the opportunity to partake of the sacraments and experience the joy that comes with being a part of the world-wide Catholic community. 

I'm so blessed to be taking this journey with K.  I have no doubt that our Easter Triduum is going to be amazing!!  I can't wait!!!

Chronicles of a soon-to-be homeschooling mom...v1

A few days ago, I posted about what a worrier I am.  Well, on top of that wonderful trait, I also happen to be horribly stubborn.  When I get something in my head that I think is right, it's right until completely proven otherwise.  And even then, I'm not one to bow out graciously.  I'll find some way to blame someone else for my being wrong.  Not very Christian-like, I know.  It's definitely something I need to work on.

Because of this horrible trait, I was shocked to find that someone (someoneS) were able to open my eyes to something that I earlier had completely discarded as being an option.  These someones were absolutely being used by God to allow me to see beyond my own stubbornness.  God is just awesome!

Let me explain!  I had finally decided that we were going to be a Seton homeschooling family come this Fall.  The curriculum was familiar to me.  It mirrors exactly how and what my children are being taught in the Catholic school they attend now.  I was absolutely positive that this program would be the best, because it would be an easy transition for us all.  But for some reason, this classical method kept popping up all around me.  It seemed that everyone I talked to was using it as a way of teaching their children.  I looked into it briefly, and decided it just wasn't for me.  First off, I had no desire to try and piecemeal a curriculum together.  I'm just starting off, people!  I need S.I.M.P.L.E.!  Secondly, a classical curriculum was completely foreign to me, and let's face it...sometimes you (or maybe it's just me) tend to be a little prejudice toward the unknown.

Last night, the few friends and I who have to decided to homeschool next year met with three ladies who shared their experience with us.  They are the type of women who make you feel at ease within seconds of meeting them.  They radiate peace and are filled with wisdom.  These women shared the classical homeschooling curriculum with us.  By the end, we were hooked!  It is an amazingly beautiful way to teach, and I am so excited that my children will experience it.

This was a lesson learned for me.  I finally was able to let go of my stubbornness and my ignorant prejudices and allow myself to be open to hear what was being presented to me.    It usually doesn't feel good to be wrong, but this time it felt great!

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to look outside of my own world

and discover something beautiful. 

Thank you for using those around me as your instruments

to be my guide as I journey through the unknown. 

I pray that I will continue to keep my eyes and heart open

to all that You have in store for me.

Happy Ash Wednesday!

I had this great idea to get the kids' picture together after they'd received their ashes.  Yeah right, right???  By the time I had them all together only one of them still had a visible smudge on their forehead. 

I'm counting this as my blog for the day...I'm tired and without words.  Just for the record, I have a lot of back-blogging to do.  I'm completely counting back-blogs as part of my Lenten commitment!  :)

How we plan on spending our Lenten season...

Lent starts tomorrow!  This is probably my favorite time of year, as it forces us to focus on doing better for our Lord.  Some people sacrifice during the season, others add in additional forms of piety, study, and/or action.  I usually like to do a combination of both.  This will be the first year hubby and I incorporate the kids.  We'll be doing a family Lenten sacrifice/addition as well as doing our own.

Family Lenten plans:

Sacrifice:  We really haven't talked too much about a sacrifice.  About a month ago, we made Sunday a no technology day and we haven't stuck with it consistently.  This is something we will be doing during Lent.  It's forces all of us to put down the controllers, the remotes, and the laptops and enjoy the quiet.  I'm bad about still playing music during the day, so I think I'll stop that as well.  When everything is turned off, it becomes so apparent how loud all these "extras" are.  This is a double bonus for us as well!  With all the free time we'll have, I see lots of opportunities for some much needed family time!!

Addition:  Yesterday I printed off coloring sheets that represent each of the Stations of the Cross.  I'm going to let the boys each color half of them, and then we'll post them up throughout the house.  We found the greatest children's Stations of the Cross book to go along with it.  We're hoping to replace our, almost nightly, decade of the rosary with a full Stations of the Cross.

Individual Lenten plans:

Sacrifice:  Hubby and I are going to keep this one to ourselves.  He's continuing a sacrifice that he did last year, only this time he's making it much harder.  I'm trying something I've never attempted before.  I will tell you that I'm scared, very scared!  I will be keeping a daily journal on how I'm doing and plan on posting it after Lent is over.  Please pray that hubby and I are both successful!

Addition:  My addition is going to be to blog daily, except on Sunday!  ;)  I'm truly hoping this Lenten season will be a spiritual awakening of sorts for me.  Don't be surprised if the posts suddenly seem strange!  I've tried to attend daily mass at least two times a week throughout the school year, but will make it a must during Lent.  Hubby will be studying and looking over the reflections in his books.  He will also be praying a lot more alongside his sacrifice.  He too attends daily mass, so this will be included and strengthened.

And well, that's it!!!  There's some debate on whether Lent is from Ash Wednesday to Holy Thursday, or Ash Wednesday to Easter, or whether Sundays are excluded.  I can't seem to find the exact information to support any case.  We're going to stick with Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday, which is technically 47 days.  Does anyone have insight into this and perhaps something from the Vatican to support it? 

Happy Lent everyone!

Until that Day, Jesus, please show us…

show me, more and more of your beauty.

Especially during this season of Lent,

reveal as much of your beauty to me as I can entertain.

For by the light of your beauty my sin becomes much more reprehensible…

the gospel becomes much more commendable…

your kingdom becomes much more visible…

but above all, you become so much more desirable.

Bright Eyes

Oh, our second born!  He's the child that God gives you to help you learn the most about yourself and your parenting skills.  He's also the child that, when not testing your parenting skills, melts you in seconds flat with just one look into his baby blue eyes.  God made children beautiful, so that even in the worst hours it's impossible not to love them! 

Bright Eyes (B.E.)  is a dreamer, a creator, and a free spirit.  I joke with his current little girlfriend's mommy that she better hope her daughter has a good job.  B.E. will most likely be living out in California as a starving artist...either as a musician or an artist.   These are his passions.  At only 4 years of age, I'm truly thrilled that he's found things that he loves to do.

The free spirit in him is what is the most trying.  This morning we had nearly a 20 minute stand-off concerning whether he was going to get himself dressed or not.  Of course, his shirt wouldn't come off without help, and heaven forbid he could possibly take off his own pants.  The left sock doesn't go on the right foot...duh, mommy!  And why are there so many bumps in my shoes?  While all this was happening, he was sobbing uncontrollably as though it was the most traumatic moment of his life.  While I would love to tell you that my angel, B.E., rarely acts this why, I can not.  I would be lying through my teeth.  This is at least an every other day occurrence.  It's not always getting dressed that causes the explosions.  It's a variety of everything.  He's too cold, his folder isn't in his backpack, he didn't want his apple cut "this way," etc. 

The learning involved here has been to understand how to deal with it.  With Zep, it was easy.  Take away the things he loves and he acts instantly.  It is not that way with B.E.  You could put him in a completely empty room, and he would still find something to occupy his time happily.  So, threatening to take things away doesn't work and raising your voice just causes the meltdown to escalate.  The way to deal with this child is what takes the most patience.  In the middle of the tantrum, when you yourself would prefer to sit down and cry and scream as well, you have to just love him.  He responds to gentle talking, not to yelling.  Sometimes it takes 10 or so minutes for your actions to take effect, but ultimately it does work.  The most important thing for him to see is how his actions are affecting you.  We have found that our "little pistol" is also such a compassionate little boy.  Knowing this has made being his mommy much easier...still not easy, but much easier.

A story for you...pretty much completely unrelated to this, but an example of why B.E. will turn me gray much sooner then rest of my children...

Bright Eyes had a friend over to play for the afternoon.  It was time to head out the door to pick up the older brothers.  B.E. ran to the garage, and I stayed right inside the door to wait for his friend to finish up in the bathroom.  B.E. asked for me to open the garage door for him, and so I pushed the button and briefly turned my head to once again check on his friend.  When I looked back, my knees went weak.  Dangling, from my now moving garage door, was my then 3-year-old son.  Up, up, up he went...screaming and flailing his legs the entire time.  With Sunshine on my hip, I went running, and only reached him after the garage had already stopped at the top.  He was fine, thank God!  Between him crying and my hysterics, the whole scene was ridiculously comical.  I really shouldn't have expected anything less from him...two seconds after his crying stopped, he began laughing, "That was fun!" 

A weekend to remember...

Sometimes March 5th comes and goes without a single thought about my dad.  Other times, he's on my mind all day long.  You see, today my daddy would've been 57 years old.  He died 9 years ago after having a massive heart attack.  The phone call I got on that horrible night still lingers in head from time to time.  I literally can recall the entire conversation.  I was working at hotel in Tuscaloosa.  My cell phone was plugged in and sitting on the ground.  It rang and I missed the call.  As soon as I had a second, I sat on the floor and found that the missed call was from my brother and called him back.  Thank God I was already sitting down.  All he said was, "dad passed."  What came out of my mouth can't be repeated.  It was a line of obscenities and screaming.  I was certain my brother was playing a horrible trick on me.  I was hoping with every ounce of me that he was playing a horrible trick on me, but he wasn't.  My daddy died on September 21st, 2002.  He was a man that, through his death, I have learned to love beyond measure.

But this weekend also is a weekend to celebrate.  Just a year ago tomorrow, our baby girl was baptized into the Catholic faith.  Hubby and I, alongside her amazing godparents, vowed to raise her and guide her with a love for our Lord.  What a glorious day that was!  We shared it with so many of our family and friends 

It's very fitting that I'm able to remember my father and celebrate my daughter in the same weekend.  He truly would've adored her.  And, even in all his faults, he had so much to do with who I am today.  I hope to take all the wonderful things he taught me and teach them to my children.  One of those was to never strive for anything but the best....and for Zep, Bright Eyes, and Sunshine, anything but the best just isn't acceptable!

so I'm a worrier...

I'm a worrier...I'll admit it flat out.  I worry about all decisions, from the most important to the most ridiculous.  Before Zep started pre-K, I emailed all my friends to see what sort of lunch box they would be buying their children.  This made complete sense to me then; I didn't want my child to bring in the really uncool lunch box and be branded forever as "silly lunchbox boy."  Big decisions are even worse.  When I made my first car purchase, I clearly remember sitting in front of the salesman crying as I signed all the papers.  They definitely weren't tears of joy.  They were, "oh my goodness, can I really handle this much of a payment for 5 years!!!"  Sleep is lost, time is spent researching things to death, and in general, I'm a nutcase.  Hubby sometimes hears so much about my worries over things that he begins to tune me out.

Currently, we are in the middle of making a big decision that will drastically change the dynamics of our family. A series of two sentences spoken between a friend and I over a month ago at a girls' weekend has, in the last two weeks, turned into a whirlwind of upcoming changes.  Hubby and I have talked about homeschooling the kids for a couple years now.  Our goals for our children are pretty simple.  First and foremost, we want them to go to Heaven.  And secondly, we want them to have a solid education that opens the world to them.  They currently attend a Catholic private school that we love, and if our pocket books were deeper we would probably continue to keep them there.  To reach our goals for our children, we've decided the best option would be to keep them home and school them ourselves.  Plus, we would love more babies!  More babies = more money.  Private school = no money.  My engineering education may not be doing much for me today, but it did enough for me to know that more money does not equal no money.  So, the decision has been made.  I am a soon-to-be homeschooling mommy!  Who woulda' thunk it??  I'm beyond excited!!!  If you run into me, be prepared to hear about it.  I think I'm bursting at the seams!!

But remember, I'm a worrier.   And, oh my has it begun!!!  To sum up just a few of my worries:

• which curriculum??  Seton, Mother of Divine Grace, a mixture of classical?????? 
• to teach Latin or not to teach Latin?
• how many extra-curricular activities should I enroll them in??  I don't want them to be recluses.
• how in the world am I going to manage teaching high school?
• are these dang kids even going to listen to a word I say?
• am I going to ruin them?
• if I ruin them and they're not smart enough to go to college will they blame me??
• if they don't go to college will they be able to get a decent job???
• if they blame me and don't have a decent job, how will they pay for their years of therapy??
• .....

Can you see where this is going?  And of course, EVERYONE has an opinion!  Which is fantastic, and then well, not so fantastic.  You see, just yesterday morning I thought we had it all figured out.  Seton Home Study it was going to be...we were on board to sign up in just a month.  And then I sat down with a group of seasoned, Catholic homeschooling, veteran mommies who shook up my world!!  They had a wealth of knowledge, none of which included a Seton curriculum.  One of the mothers even had her 15-year-old daughter in tow...who was AMAZING!!  I mean, really, how often do you meet any teenager that speaks with perfection, is completely comfortable among adults, and praises her form of education?  I walked out of our meeting feeling even more overwhelmed.  After worrying for another 24 hours, I think I'm finally back to having made a curriculum decision, but who knows what worries tomorrow will bring.

God continually surprises me with placing people in my life during these times who always say the most appropriate things.  These are what will get me through the worries of tomorrow:

• "Anxiety and worry are not of God."
• "Stick with what you know."
• "Heaven not Harvard"
• "What grade will you be teaching next year?"  "Then that's the only grade you need to know."
• "Opinions are like armpits.  Everyone has one and sometimes they stink!"