Sunday, July 20, 2014

Our fifth child - and my VBA4C!

VBA4C?!?  I mean, seriously, what crazy person attempts a vaginal birth after four c-sections?  What about the risks and possible complications?  Wouldn't it be easier to just have that fifth c-section?

So, why not have another c-section?  My husband, Gregg, and I may want more children.  We both agreed that having any more than five c-sections was just too much of a risk on my health.

Honestly, the odds were not in my favor.  Wait, wait...I'm not talking about rupture statistics.  Through ICAN (www.ican-online.org) I was quickly made aware that the risks were definitely higher in attempting another c-section.  So what wasn't in my favor?  Almost every doctor in the area.  Almost every hospital in the area.  Except one...Dr. Davis and UAB.  This doctor and this hospital were willing to provide me the means to try for a vaginal birth.  But the odds were still against me.  For this vaginal birth to be a success so much had to be just right.  I had to go into labor on my own, baby had to be head down and not posterior, baby's heart rate couldn't decrease at all during labor, and lastly my c-section scar couldn't rupture.  None of this would be possible without the grace of God - so I prayed and I trusted He would have a hand over it all!

When I started out on my VBA4C journey I was determined to do everything within my power to make it happen.  My first pregnancy ended up in a c-section because of mal-position and because after having an epidural I had no idea how to push out a baby effectively.  So, my first decision - this baby was to be born naturally.  If you know me, you know that pain is something I'm not a fan of and am also completely terrified of.  So, my second decision - hire a doula that would help me through the pain of childbirth.  I checked references and found the best doula (seriously, she is!) in all of Birmingham - Fredia Nelms.   

Armed with my doula and loads of reading and watching birth stories my pregnancy advanced.  I warned Fredia ahead of time that my babies come early.  Child #1 came at 37 weeks, child #2 at 37 weeks, child #3 at 36 weeks, and child #4 at 35 weeks.  I was certain we would be having another early baby.

Sure enough at 33 weeks the contractions began.  And they continued for 6 whole weeks.  It became a regular thing for me to be up all night with contractions 10 minutes (or less) apart for hours.  Several times I was sure "this was it" and would text Fredia.  By 38 weeks I was certain I was going to start screaming at her if she told me I was just having false contractions again.  Did she not hear me?  These things hurt!  They most certainly were not false!  Thankfully, she knew my body better than I did and advised me to rest instead of rushing off to the hospital.  Each time the contractions would fizzle out and I would mope around fat and miserable.

Friday night - July 18th.  I was just a couple days shy of 39 weeks.  (Did you read that??  39 weeks!  I'd never been pregnant that long!)  I had a horrible night of contractions.  They stayed 4-5 minutes apart throughout most of the night.  I sent my usual text to Fredia the next morning, and she once again told me to rest.  I wasn't too mad at her this time because she did add that "you will need the rest if you have this baby later tonight."  Seeing that word tonight was thrilling to me!  

I of course took my doula's advice to heart - and then promptly gathered up my family and headed for the zoo!  It was a wonderful day!  I think it was needed by us all.  

That evening, after my heart was full of happiness from our day, I finally settled into bed at about 12:30am.  Within five minutes I felt 2 very distinct pops in the front of my belly.  I knew exactly what it was!  Within 5  minutes the contractions started and I was visibly leaking fluid.  I yelled at my husband, Gregg, who was fast asleep.  He helped me put towels on the bed so I could lie down and try to rest for awhile.  As soon as I laid down a contraction hit and, oh my goodness, it was horrendous!  I was immediately screaming.  

We sent Fredia a text at 12:50am, and after talking back and forth for an hour or so we collectively decided it was time to head to the hospital.  I was still screaming through contractions and had decided that there was no way I was having this baby without an epidural.  

Our friend, Denise, was called to sit with the kids so we could head off to the hospital.  She was a Godsend.  She was able to start counter-pressure on my back that immediately helped the contractions.  She showed Gregg what she was doing so he could take over.  I don't know what I would have done without the counter-pressure.  It was still horrible, but it would have been so much worse!

At 1:56am we sent a text to Fredia, "On our way."  This was immediately followed by another text, "I really think I want meds."  The contractions were no joke!

At about 2:15am we finally arrived at the hospital only to be stopped at the front desk so Gregg could get a nametag.  Seriously??  We were then told at triage to have a seat in the waiting room.  Again, seriously??  Keep in mind that I am still screaming through each contraction.  They finally got me back to triage at about 2:30am.  

They checked me and found that I was only 5cm.  Sweet Fredia had sent me this text on our drive up, "I want you to remember the number assigned to your cervix when you get there is not a reflection of how hard you are working or how far you have to go.  It's not the whole picture."  With that in mind hearing that I was only 5cm wasn't devastating.  Of course part of the reason it wasn't devastating was because I was certain I was going to be getting drugs in the very near future!

At UAB they require you to stay in triage until a room is available in labor and delivery.  And of course, a room wasn't available right away.  Oh, and guess what else, they can't give you drugs until you're in labor and delivery.  Didn't they know I was dying?  I literally was screaming for God to save me, help me, just make it stop.  This is only mildly embarrassing to me now!

At 3:04 am we were finally taken to labor and delivery.  Within minutes two angels arrived - Fredia and the anesthesiologist.  To my horror they both wanted me to be checked before I was given an epidural.  At this point the only position that I could handle was standing and leaning over.  I somehow managed to make my way into the bed to be checked. 

I was completely dilated!  Oh my gosh - I was complete!  I clearly remember Fredia locking eyes with me and telling me I could do this.  And all I could think was - crap, I have to do this!

I immediately went into a strange sort of primal mode.  The ridiculous screaming stopped and I focused on what I had to do.  For around 40 minutes I pushed and pushed.  I started on all fours at the head of the bed.  The doctor quickly got bored with my progress and left leaving just the nurse, Fredia, Gregg, and I in the room.  (So much for me being such a high risk patient!)  I'm not sure who suggested it but Fredia helped me get into a squatting position at the foot of the bed.  I pushed about 15 more minutes and started feeling the burning.  After the next push I could reach down and feel my baby's head.  I remember Fredia telling me I needed to breath through the next contractions - don't push - the doctor has to get here.  But it was impossible not to push.  This was the point where I learned that the "ring of fire" was truly no joke!  My next push his head came out and with the next our little Stephen Michael came out into the hands of the nurse at 4:06am.  I can still hear my husband saying, "Devon, you did it!"

My little man was put immediately on my chest!  I've had five children and this is the first time I've ever held one of my babies right after they were born.  What an amazing feeling!

It took me about 2 weeks to really wrap my brain around the entire experience.  I truly never thought I would experience a normal delivery of a child.  I always questioned whether my body could even do it.  And I surely never thought I would do it without an epidural.  But I did!  My body does work!  

One of the biggest things I struggled with after the delivery was the loss of my birth plan.  I had envisioned this beautiful labor experience.  I had a playlist all ready to listen to while I bounced on a birthing ball.  The fast, hard labor I had was almost traumatic in a sense.  It's taken me until now to accept that things happened just as they were supposed to - just as God planned.  If labor had lasted 5 minutes longer maybe I would've ended up getting that epidural which could have changed the entire outcome.  So many things might have been different.  But they weren't, they were perfect!

I know without any doubt that I couldn't have done it without the 2 hours of counter-pressure my amazing husband provided (I had the bruises to prove it!) or the awesome support of my doula!  I don't know if we'll have more children, but if we do I'll want both of them by my side once again!  And again, Dr. Davis and UAB were amazing.  They gave me a chance when no one else would!  

My husband tells me I need to be humble when telling my story.  That's a very hard request because I'm just so darn proud of myself!  With the help of God, I did what so many considered to be impossible.  I had a vaginal birth after FOUR c-sections!  And I did it naturally!  I rocked my VBA4C!


Stephen Michael
Born at 4:06am
7 lbs 10 oz
20 inches




July 20th, 2014

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Lil Bit 18 month Stats

She's getting big!!

Weight:  22 lbs - 26%

Height:   30.5 inches - 33%

Head:   18 inches - 35%

She's still little but not itty bitty anymore!

November 13, 2013

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Bright Eyes' Fall Swim Team Results

I wanted to put down B.E's fastest times for the season, so I wouldn't forget them when we moved.  He's had such a great time on swim team.  Hubby and I are super proud of our little guy!

25 Yard Freestyle - 31.63

25 Yard Backstroke - 37.30

25 Yard Breaststroke - 32.76

November 12th, 2013

Friday, August 23, 2013

Finding the light in the darkness...

I've been putting off writing this post.  My blog ultimately ends up being converted in to memory books for the kids, and the story of the last month is one I want them to know.  I also know that telling it (to the very few people that still read my blog) may help me heal a bit.

March 2014 was to be a glorious month!  We were to welcome our fifth blessing into the world.  Hubby and I were so excited.  But baby #5 will never rest in my arms here on our earth.  Instead, he is resting in the arms of our Lord - our little Saint in heaven to watch over us for eternity.  For this I am overjoyed...but for our loss, I am heartbroken.

At about 6 weeks into the pregnancy I received a call from the doctor -  Your levels are dropping...not good...we'll wait and see...maybe it's just a mistake with the lab.  I knew better.  I had been spotting on and off since the pregnancy began, which has never happened in any of my last four pregnancies.  I prepared myself for the impending miscarriage.  My doctor asked me to return in a week for another level check and an ultrasound.  Two days after his initial phone call I began to bleed heavily.  Here it was - I sadly said goodbye to our baby.  I also called the doctor and requested (actually begged) to skip the appointment.  Do I really have to drag ALL FOUR kids up to see you just to be told my baby has died?  The sweet man honored my request, offered his prayers, and let me move on with my life.

Fast forward two weeks later... midnight, July 27th - I woke my husband and begged him to call an ambulance.  Two hours later I was in a hospital room surrounded by a dozen nurses/doctors receiving a blood transfusion.  My husband was being counseled on my chances of survival.  The miscarriage that I had supposedly had wasn't a miscarriage at all.  The baby was in my left Fallopian tube and it had ruptured.  My abdomen was full of blood and I was going into shock.

I had to undergo a two hour surgery for the removal of my left tube.  Hubby was so strong - I'm so proud of him.

I spent four days in the hospital and ultimately had to receive another blood transfusion, but in the end I survived this ordeal with only the loss of my tube and (of course) my baby.

The last three weeks I've had a lot of time to reflect on all that happened.  Knowing that I was so near death has been very hard for me to deal with.  I often find myself up at night reliving the night I was rushed to the ER.  I see the nurses on either side of me squeezing saline into my veins, my husband crying, the look of fear in the doctor's eyes.  I hear the ultrasound tech telling the doctor that there is free fluid everywhere.  I remember locking eyes with a nurse and repeating over and over, "I'm scared," I remember the pain that I was feeling all over.

I'm not sure if I'm struggling with some post-traumatic stress, but I'm definitely struggling.  I think my biggest question is - why?  I'm trying to embrace my suffering as an offering for those who are suffering so much worse than I.  I honestly really, really suck at this though.  I'm so quick to take the "woe is me" approach.  My question is this though - I was spared.  My life was saved.  What do I do with this?  How do you just carry on with the mundane tasks of each day knowing that you've been given a second chance at life?  I feel as though I need to do something spectacular - Climb Mount Everest or something.  Ok, not really - I hate heights.  But I do feel as though God left me here for a reason.  That he has something great in store for me and my family.  I find myself constantly looking and asking for signs.  Ok God, do you want us to serve here, help these people, what, where? 

God did show Himself so many times during this horrible time.  His nudge was what convinced me to call for an ambulance.  He was there in the form of the EMT who kept me calm during the drive.  In this strange town we were able to deduce that we were both Catholic, homeschooled, and I knew of his wife.  What a blessing!  He was there in the form of nurse CJ, whose eyes were my source of comfort during the scariest moments in the emergency room.  He was there in the form of the OB surgeon who was a fellow Catholic and would spend hours sitting and talking me through everything.  He was there through our amazing support system.  We had wonderful visitors - some who even drove a good hour to sit with me - even our parish priest.  I wish I had taken a picture of the emails, texts, cards, Mass cards, and flowers we received.  Meals were also provided for us for an entire month.  Both our mothers came to stay with us after we returned home.  And nothing, absolutely nothing could have been more appreciated than the enormous amounts of prayers we received.

And, of course, long ago God sent me the man that was going to hold me up during this time in the form of my husband.  He has been my rock through all of this.  He has carried the load of a 4-child household without complaining.  He's dealt with my crazy emotions and (most of the time - laugh, hubby) held me when I needed him close.  This was his tragedy too - please keep him in your prayers as well.

I feel so blessed to be alive, to be surrounded by such love, and to be a daughter of the most amazing God.  I'll probably still struggle for sometime with the thoughts of my experience, the purpose of it all,  and the loss of our baby.  I ask that you continue to pray for these intentions.

But life isn't dark...it's full of light!  I'm surrounded by it!  Praise be to God for our sufferings - for suffering is never wasted when it is united with Christ's suffering on the cross.


August 23rd, 2013

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Lil' Bit's 15 Month Stats...

Weight:  18 lbs 9.5 oz - less than 3% (BUT SHE'S ON THE CHART!!)


Height:  29.5 in - 18%

Head:  17.75 in - 24%

A great appointment for our Lil' princess!!

August 21, 2013

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Lil' Bit's 12 Month Stats...

Weight:  15 lbs 14 oz - Below the chart!

Height:  27.5 in - Between 5 to 10%

Head:  17.25 in - Between 10 to 25%

Lil' Bit is keeping her nickname alive.  Unfortunately, she's lost a bit of weight over the last month and is no longer near the curve for weight.  The doctor isn't horribly concerned but has ordered up a full battery of blood tests.  We're also heading to Children's tomorrow for a sweat test to check for cystic fibrosis.  This will be our first experience with this test...should be interesting.  We are all fairly certain that Lil' Bit is just going to be petite, but I am thrilled that the doctor has decided to be so thorough.

May 14th, 2013

*Update (May 29th, 2013) - All the tests turned out fine!


Thursday, December 6, 2012

Please pray for Dominic!

I never do this, but my heart is broken for this little boy.  If there is anyone out there that still reads my blog please pray for Dominic Pio!  Click on the link to read his story.  He is in such a critical situation right now.  He needs prayers!!!


Monday, November 19, 2012

Lil' Bit's 6 month stats

Weight:   12.5 pounds  ---  less than 3%

Height:   25 inches  ---  16%

Head:   16.25 inches  ---  12%

November 19th, 2012

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Yum!

Way back when Zep was a baby, I counted down the days until he was old enough to start on solid foods.  At four months exactly we started him on rice cereal and moved on to other store bought baby foods.  

When Bright Eyes entered the world, I held off until 6 months to feed him solids and decided to make 75% of our baby food at home.

Sunshine wasn't fed solids until 7 months and she was exclusively fed homemade purees. 

And now we have Lil' Bit.  She is now 6 1/2 months.  We've finally decided to dive into the world of solids, but this time we're trying a new approach - Baby Led Weaning.  The basic idea is to completely skip the purees and go straight to finger foods.  The baby feeds herself from day one.  Our reasons for trying this method are (1) it makes sense and (2) I have three other kids to feed and barely enough time to feed myself (although from looking at me you'd never know it).  Trying to fit in time to spoon feed a baby seems impossible.  

Lil' Bit was introduced to Baby Led Weaning with a soft asparagus stick.  We placed it in front of her and after about 5 minutes she finally started showing some interest.  It didn't take her long to pick it up and bring it straight to her mouth.  LB doesn't have any teeth so there was no actual eating involved, but she loved sucking on the asparagus.  It was amazing!

Since then we've tried bread, meat, and bananas.  So far it's been a slow going process.  She isn't horribly interested in the food and finds it hard to pick most things ups.  From what I'm reading though, this will change in no time and we'll have a pro on our hands!


November 17th, 2012


Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween!


Black Ninja, White Ninja, and Little Red Riding Hood

October 31st, 2012

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Pumpkins...

We skipped our annual trip to the pumpkin patch this year, however the kids still talked me into swinging by a local church which had hundreds of pumpkins for sale.  The stick-in pumpkin parts that Arnie P gave us have been such a hit with my family.  We're slowly losing pieces though - we'll need to look for more.

**Poor Zep was so sick during this picture.  He was scared to tell me he didn't feel well, because he was worried he wouldn't be able to go trick-or-treating the next night.  I felt so bad for him!


Daddy had a busy week of work right before Halloween but was able to squeeze in a little bit of time to carve a very quick pumpkin.  It wasn't his best pumpkin carving to date but the kids were still super excited!


October 30th, 2012

Friday, October 26, 2012

Sunday, October 21, 2012

All Saints Day

Our homeschool group hosts a really fun All Saints Party each year.  The kids get to dress up like a saint of their choosing and read off clues to everyone.  All the kids try to guess who the saints are.  After there are tons of games set up.  My kids absolutely love this party!

Here are our saints of 2012!  Can you guess who they are?  Scroll to the bottom to find out if you're right.

Bright Eyes' Clues

1.  God made a covenant with me.
2.  God told me to build an ark.
3.  I am from the Old Testament.





Zep's Clues

1.  I led two crusades.
2.  I was the King of France.
3.  I was known for my charity.





Bright Eyes was Noah.
Zep was St. Louis IX King of France

October 21st, 2012

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Missouri Dreaming!

Ever been on a vacation that was so perfect you never wanted it to end?  I kept trying to think of ways to convince hubby to stay just one more day.

We were able to spend 4 fun filled days in such a great city - St. Louis, Missouri!  Hubby and his friends always attend one Alabama football away game each year.  This year they chose the Bama vs. Mizzou game...which was to be played in Missouri...which also happens to be where hubby's sister lives.  It didn't take long for hubby's parents, hubby's oldest sister and kids, our kids and me to high-jack the boys football trip and turn it into an amazing family weekend.

My amazing sister-in-law had everything set up perfectly for us.  The sleeping arrangements were wonderful, all the meals were taken care of, and she even provided additional entertainment for the kids in the form of her amazing boyfriend.

From late nights up chatting to exploring around the city - what a wonderful vacation this was for us!  Thanks so much for hosting our crazy chaotic clan, Aunt Bear!  It was wonderful to spend time in your world.  We love you so very much and are so blessed to have had this time with you and the fam.  We can't wait until the next get together!

There are several posts to follow about each of our St. Louis adventures.  For now, I'll leave you with our view of the city as we were sadly heading home.

October 14th, 2012


Saturday, October 13, 2012

St. Louis Trip - Wolf Howl

I spent way too much time before our trip researching all the great attractions in the area.  During my searching, I came across the Endangered Wolf Center.  The Wolf Center is an organization that works to save wolves from extinction.  It's a huge facility in which they breed and try to reintroduce the wolves to the wild at some point.  I'm sure it would be a great place to go visit during the day!

However, I was captivated to read about an event that they do on weekend evenings called a Wolf Howl.  So, I reserved a spot for the boys and I.  We headed there on our own Saturday evening while hubby was at the Bama game.

It was just as cool as I thought it would be!  We arrived and they took us back to a campfire where a employee stood behind the fire and shared information about the wolves.  Hearing his interpretations of each of the wolf's howls was really funny.  He then told us a couple "not so scary" wolf stories.  From the campfire we walked a little way down a gravel path to where the wolves were caged.  Three of the employees surrounded the cage and began howling.  Sure enough withing 10 minutes or so all the wolves were howling right back.  The kids though it was pretty awesome!

The only downside to the event was I didn't think through bringing Lil' Bit out with us.  She's nursing, so she's stuck to me at all times.  Seeing that we were in the woods trying to be quiet to hear the wolves every little noise LB made sounded like it was over a loud speaker.  All the howling wolves and people scared her a lot.  We ended up having to walk back early.  That didn't stop Zep from howling along with the wolves as we were walking back.

The kids were also extremely concerned that they would have to miss the hot cocoa and cookies that were being served afterwards.  All was well though...they took theirs to go!

I would love to do this again someday - minus any little bitty ones.  The next time we'll also make it a point to go during the day so we can actually see the wolves!

October 13th, 2012

Cousins!

I'm too tired to blog anything else tonight, but I wanted to post this super cute pic of my niece and Sunshine.  They are too cute together.  I can't even begin to imagine all the fun these two are going to have together throughout their lives.

October 13th, 2012


St. Louis Trip - Purina Farms

For the last year Zep has been begging me for the opportunity to milk a cow.  You would think that would be an easy request to fulfill.  I had zero luck finding a place to take him.  So...you better believe when I saw the Purina Farms in Missouri had cow milking I signed us up right away!

The Farm is amazing!  They have a small barn where they keep lots of animals that the kids were able to interact with.  The little ones loved this!  The best part was the dog agility demonstration!  It is absolutely amazing to watch the trainers with these beautiful dogs.  

The kids had a great time - definitely a must do if in the St. Louis area!

October 13th, 2012


Friday, October 12, 2012

St. Louis Trip - The Zoo

A trip to St. Louis isn't complete without a trip to the zoo.  It might very well be the nicest zoo we've ever visited...and IT'S FREE!!  

We spent an entire day here just walking around through the exhibits.  Even after a full day we still had yet to see all the animals.  The hippos and gorillas are by far our favorite animals there! 

Such a fun day with our wonderful family!


October 12th, 2012

Thursday, October 11, 2012

St. Louis Trip - City Museum


Hands down ... the COOLEST place we've ever taken the kids!  Several people had told me about City Museum.  Basically what I got out of their explanations was that it was a playground made of recycled objects.  Oh my!  What an understatement!  What I wouldn't have given to be a kid and only 3 feet tall during our visit.  There really isn't a good way to describe this museum.  It really is a large playground made of recycled objects.  Only...it's so much more!  It's floors and floors of tunnels and hidden doors.  It's beautiful, obscure art.  And it's loads and loads of fun!

Lil' Bit gave me an excuse to sit out during several of the "way too high for mama" areas.  But all the kids found the courage to slide down the 10-story slide and climb to the top of the outdoor area.  I managed to only have a couple moments of complete panic watching them.

This day also included lunch at Bailey's Range.  I'm still having dreams about the burgers and fries there!  So, so yummy!

October 11th, 2012